Just eat the cake you fool!

A Big Thank You to Adlina who had this video on her blog.
After watching it, I became more confident of my decisions and many other issues at hand.
I believe that this is one video that I should share. And, although it’s timed at 76 minutes, I’m very willing to watch it again, anytime…any day.

Some things that I’ve learnt from him:

-” The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
Sometimes, a different way of looking at things really saves one’s life (in many sense).

-”If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you. ”
I love the sparkle in his eyes when he said “the dreams will come to you”.

and when he mentioned the second “head fake” – I got all emotional and teared like crap.

… …

I started thinking about my childhood dreams. All I wanted to be when I was a little girl … what was it? or should I say, what were they?

1. Like every other girl, I wanted to be one of the Disney’s Princesses – not Princess Aurora, nor was it Snow White. I wanted to be Cinderella, the girl who had the attention of the Prince to herself, the girl who survives the tough conditions, pretty on the outside and strong in the inside. More importantly, there is someone who sees it, acknowledges it and shares the joy of life with her. (They live happily ever after…)
+++ Although I’m no Cinderella, I have a “Prince” (no where near “Charming”) who gives all his attention to me & only me. Thank you! *muacks*

2. A cashier; only to realize, when I grew older, that it was the “transactional-nature” of the job that interests me.
+++ I got to issue receipts sometime ago! Okay, if that wasn’t counted, I wrote a program when I was a freshman (or was it my sophomore year?) in my course. Fresh from Java Programming lectures, I came up with some crappy “cash register” program that kinda worked to the delightful “kid” in me.

3. Taxi driver; I wanted to bring people to their destinations in a nice, clean and comfortable ride.
+++ I’ll be trying for the position of SIA’s cadet pilot after my graduation – there were some minor setbacks, but I shall not be deterred by the doubts of others (as well as my own)! Although they are not related in many sense, a taxi driver & a pilot do have many aspects in common. At least, the intention of bringing people to their destination is the same.

4. A “REAL” waitress; I LOVED to play “RESTAURANT” when I was a kid – even when I’m alone. My favorite role was neither the cook nor was it the customer. I wanted to be the waitress serving the dishes. I remembered returning home after a dinner at some Chinese restaurant one day, and I immediately assembled some disposable forks, spoons, plates and bowls to re-enact the excellent service that I got from the waiters & waitresses.
+++ This “dream” of mine was fulfilled when I took on a part time job @ GoShen (Marina Square). I loved the place, my supervisors, the bosses and colleagues. It was the longest part time job I had taken on, though the pay was the lowest. BUT! I had the time of my life and met some of the nicest people. While working there, I witnessed both the ugly side of the customer pool, and the most appreciative & considerate guests. That is definitely an experience that I will not forget for the rest of my life. I kept the uniform from then, and I still talk about the people and place from time to time.

5. Sharing my ideas! Since young, I have the habit of coming up with scenarios/stories/weird ideas in my head. Being the only child, that IS a very good way to pass time. Whenever I have really interesting ideas, I have an urge to tell someone. I guess after much suppressing on my part, some of my ideas became part of my dream scenarios. One of them even helped me win a prize when I was in primary school.
P/s: I’m not one who wins prizes in any competition or lucky draw. The words winning & prize do not exist much in my life.
But still, the prize-winning story goes like this…
I had this dream of a contraption – it’s a water saving device that has buttons indicating the volume of water that it will dispense when pressed. Behind the user interface, the machine actually consists of little buckets of different volumes and when you press a button, the bucket of the indicated volume will overturn to dispense the water. I was in primary 2 (or 3) and there was this day when my teacher (forgotten which subject it was) asked all of us to invent something in groups and draw a poster for it. (Poster drawing was a big thing during my primary school days. There were “No-smoking poster” drawing, “Save the Earth” poster drawing and “Keep the School clean” poster drawing…)
I shared the idea from my dream and described the water-saving contraption as accurately as I could remember. The other group members agreed and my idea was used for our poster. The poster won, standing out amongst the time-machines, “Back to the future” cars, time-tuning watches and many others. In fact, the teacher was so impressed that she praised us for being conscious about water-saving. Seriously? I never thought anything about water saving. All I knew was the idea came from my dream, one out of the many that I could remember. I could have plagiarized it from god-knows-where – but I don’t think so. It seemed to be a product of my over-active imagination.

There’s this weird phenomenon about my dreams, I seem to be able to control the content at times, spinning tales and making stories! – it might or might not be lucid dreaming but who cares, it’s damn fun! Dreams are enjoyable when that happens. Some of the ideas in my stories come from such dreams. Thinking too much might be beneficial in ways like that… i think.

I can’t remember most of the other childhood dreams. Most of them are either aspiring to be some historical drama heroines that kick asses or tragic heroines from romantic dramas. I want to be a man too – with the thought that man had it easy; but now, I know that it’s not true at all. However, I still want to be a man. It’s not because I think that women are inferior in any way. I just want to know how it feels like being a man – maybe, there is no difference but I’m really curious to know and I cannot really stand not knowing things that I want to know. (Am I making sense?)

Thanks, Dr Randy – you gave me the courage to walk on.

I’ll definitely get the book. It will be a very good book. Learning from a role model (as I deem Dr Randy to be one) … is like picking out the “right things” to learn; the only difference is, a role model had singled out the qualities and experiences that you had to pick out from an ocean of similar yet deceiving “traits” out there.
I got a helping hand from him tonight and this extended hand will forever be there.

oh man, this post started short and now, it had extended to this length. I gotta go rest my eyes before I go blind.
I really feel much much better after talking about my dreams – childhood, real ones and adulthood goals alike.

Orangeline

I’ve decided to take a break from the coding hell that I had been going through since last night and blog about things that will make me a happy girl (at least for a few hours).

Favorite Male Celebrities

♪ Gackt ♪ – He’s my god

★ Tony Leung ~★

Gerard Butler ~£ονё

Favorite Female Celebrities

【★】 Alyssa Milano 【★】

【愛】 Angelina Jolie 【愛】

Favorite Song (Japanese)

For now, it’s Friends by Stephanie Note: I’ll stop listing Gackt’s songs as my favorites since it’s a little sickening (even for myself) to see songs like Birdcage, Death Wish and Doomsday keep coming out in my Favorite Songs list.

Favorite Songs (English)

Blurry by Puddle of Mud – I liked this song for the longest time. Heart Shaped Glasses by Marilyn Manson – the acoustic version sounds really good too!

Favorite Movies

Lust Caution – Fallen in love with Tony Leung Phantom of the Opera – Love both the musical and this movie

Favorite Book

十二国記(Juuni Kokki Novels)

Favorite Seiyuu-s

関　智一(Tomokazu Seki) – He’s so freaking versatile Read the rest of this entry »

Joking!

but … it was really RIDICULOUS!

read the story of what kinda happened on Eric’s post. He managed to describe the situation in a rather objective manner despite the freaking subjective cynicism.
compared to his depictions, my comments were all the more – CHILDISH….
but i like them.

Here’s my reply:

First, you are one guy (too MATURE-looking for his own good) with a belly sitting on a couch (maybe not COUCH couch, but a plastic chair in front of your computer); doing similar stuff.

Second, I SO TOTALLY AGREE with the absurdity in the situation!
I was there with you, and, if not for the fatality of the increasing volume in human traffic, I would have stayed on, “hogging” the seat and whipped out your laptop.
Note: Laptop usage will not be anything that concerns itself to exams, but refractory online “window”-shopping!

So… studying for exams versus shopping-talks with fellow gal-mates?
I bet no one will bother three gorgeous babes talking about expensive Betsey Johnson pumps, but poor Eric was harassed and “chased” out just because he was studying.
And, how about people who were playing poker cards at the corner, HOGGING the couch for GAME!
Usually, there’s absolutely nothing wrong… I would even bring my coolest boardgame – being Tannhauser – to Starbucks and “hog” the cleanest table with the most-comfortable looking couch. But!! If anyone, nice and sensitive enough, thinks about the situation for a little bit more, it’s so unfair to us.

We paid for your drinks! (if that’s what they wanted)
The guy at the other corner was there even before we came into your puny little cafe (ok, not that puny).
Why were we “asked” to leave just because “study-hours” are over?
Come to think of it, Study-hours in a coffee place…

Aren’t cafes there for people to sit around, “enjoy” the aromatic fragrance of their drinks and surroundings and do whatever they please so as long they don’t disturb others?

If seat-hogging (through their definition) means taking up the seats for a “prolong” of time…
What if…
One day, I brought along my favourite book – which is Saiunkoku Monogatari (translated into Chinese) – to Starbucks.
Sat there, eagerly trying to finish the Light Novel that I had just gotten my hands on.
I don’t think anyone would come up to me, show me a card with “Reading Hours” and nicely “inform” me that I need to leave and GIVE up my seat ‘coz reading hours were over.
Or maybe…
she would. (Drawing up a “Reading-Hours” card just for the following reason)
She might have seen my Cheena-book…
and think… omg~ What a cheena person.
how can anyone decent be reading a chinese book (make that a “cheena-book”)?
and proceed to draw up her very own “Reading-hours” card for the very purpose of chasing me away…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~
I’m very childish I know.

But seriously, I do understand that there are mindless people insensitively taking up the seats with no intention of leaving; I guess that’s why the “Studying Hours” card came into operation.

I just find the ludicrousness of this situation —– IRRITATING!! FUCKING IRRITATING….

ahhh … i feel a little teeny weeny bit … better~

~Orangeline

Blah….

Starbucks’ Woman —-> Σ(ﾟд´(┗┐ヽ(･∀･ )ﾉ <—- Beautiful Heroine!! (Yours Truely)

I went Kinokuniya to get some stuff today.
After that, I kinda went into a fit for no particular reason, refused to go home & glued my butt to the very hard chair in Starbucks@TheCathay…
Read the new magazine that I bought, and finished preparing for one of the movie that I wanna write for my Magic Realism paper.

Quite a fruitful day, I would say.

I haven’t been studying much. If I look at my schedule now, I would most definitely break into sobs of uncertainty, I think…
Nah, I seriously doubt the possibility of that scenerio.

It’s like enlightenment, what I’ve gotten and understood. I love myself more and more as the days go by.
I hope that my dream will come true. Even though the absurdity (to the puny commoners out there) is at the peak of the scale, and even though I know 99% of the people around me will think that I’m day dreaming, 90% of them will not support my decision, 79% will choose to ridicule me; using their superior plight (e.g. getting a “highly” paid OFFICE 8 to 5 job right after graduation! Dear acquaintance, I’m just not cut out to be an engineer like you, nor am I cut out to be caged in an office, like you!) to put me down, (please indulge me in my little run-on sentences here)
I’m really fortunate & feel VERY fortunate to have someone who understands, respects and supports me 300% (note: 300% > 100%; he believes in me more than I do) …

Thanks, my dear Eric! MUACKS!

You can call me a hypocrite or any other names near that term. I don’t mind.
Usually, I’ll tolerate people who stepped over the line even for my standards. I’m considered a fairly forgiving and easy-going person. (not that easy-going during group work but I always put the group’s interest & team’s morale above mine)

This time, I’m not going to take it down.
Not only he looked down on me, he bullied my friend & he treated the rest of the group like we have low IQ or something.

Dear leader of 419 Assignment, we do know simple things like Essential Genes and the deadline for the assignment.

(click to read details)

How can someone assume such stuff?
First, he was SELF-APPOINTED. Second, he did not EVER hold a meeting or discussion with us. Third, he basically sent us “PROCEDURES” for all the “WORK” that we were supposed to do and some of them were wrong; at least i think so.
Last, he would always finish his stuff, without telling anyone about anything, and send us the instructions from what he did. WHO THE FUCK DETERMINED THAT HIS WORK WAS 100% CORRECT?
I thought that bugger was like sooo intelligent that he had the balls to send us PROCEDURES, dictating us, monopolizing the entire group’s activity; being lazy, I followed. I hate myself now. I should have checked first.
His instructions were fucking unclear, he can’t even seem to express himself well! He doesn’t even know how to use PAINT (from windows). I should have known it. Fuck!
Which idiot would do screen shots, showing the rest of the world that he’s also using things like MIRC, IE (like millions of windows opened) and other softwares? Like, WHO IN THE WORLD STILL USES IE?!?!?!?!?!
other than people who needs it to test their design or whatever, coz there’re idiots out there like him.

He once commented on my “LAST MINUTE WORK”!
and wow oh wow… you wanna know why?
Other than the fact that I sarcastically told him one that I love last minute work, which is 75% true; and he took it like the bible (*wink*). What a baby, give him a lollipop and you’ll get his mommy’s wallet that he was holding for her. (which mother in the right mind will let that kind of son hold the wallet for her *shrugs*)
There’s this other incident. I volunteered to compile the final report for the group – since I felt bad for not “being there for their meetings” (in which there were few, if not none). He agreed but i doubt he actually took it into consideration. What a snob.
Wanna know why I think so? After many many many months, he sent us a fianl_report_dratf.doc (note: misspelling on purpose) with all the “current” stuff he had in it.
It was one of the ugliest compiled report I’ve seen; it’s the truth.
I, very nicely, told him, “could I make some changes to the compiled report that you sent us? to make it look more presentable?” along that line, in msn.
you wanna guess what he said?
“sure. but no last min work.”
I simple went MAD.
Can you imagine?
Who did he think he was?

I feel really bad now. I hate myself for not bringing up all these shit about him earlier.
Now, there’re problems and the dateline is only a week away.
He’s crapping shit about wanting to do more things, BUT!
asking other group members to do it.
LAST MINUTE “delegation”!!
like just today, he asked someone else to do some drug research after she finished doing the 100 ROWS!! when in the first place, he asked for 10 only.
Just because he finished his 100 first.
What a fucking jerk.

SO! I exploded. I give people respect, and I expect the same amount back – to my friends & I.
I hate bastards who don’t respect others. That’s so basic and yet he can’t even do that.
An “A” in your beloved Bioinformatics will not bring you anywhere, my dear leader.

anyway, I sent an email to everyone, asking for a meeting asap.

here’s the content. I thought it was kinda hilarious although I wrote it in a fit of anger.
I do write funny things when I’m angry.
*blah*

“… …
Hi everyone,

to Leader:
who was the one who decided on the abrupt change to do 100 rows each?
did everyone agree on this? any discussion that was held?
if there was, and there’s a majority vote; I’ll definitely do it.
if not, I suggest a meeting by tomorrow.

As all of us DEFINITELY know, the dateline is 9 Nov 2007. We don’t have much time to do all these LAST MINUTE work that you suddenly “announced” & “instructed”.
You have to understand that we have our own commitments to fulfill. I remember you sending us a mail, delegating the job of 10 rows each. Unless I misinterpreted your message then, I already did TWENTY and I believed I fulfilled “your requirements”.
If you wanted 100 rows each, you should have considered telling us earlier, or call for a discussion instead of deciding everything yourself.
That’s not very convincing as a leader; at least to me.

to everyone else:
I find the serious need to meet up as soon as possible to discuss about the project – in terms of content & our team work. This really doesn’t seem like teamwork to me; more like autocracy. I really regret not pointing all these out earlier and I apologize to everyone. There is really a need for everyone to sit together and talk about our issues, miscommunication & misunderstandings. Furthermore, if there is a discussion, we can see how far everyone has gone, and decide (together) how we should proceed from there.

I suggest a meeting tomorrow, 1 November 2007 Thursday.
Hope to get your replies soon.

Yours Sincerely,
Angeline Ng

PS: In case someone doesn’t know the meaning of autocracy, like how he thinks we don’t know simple things like Essential genes. Here’s the definition.

An autocracy is a form of government in which the political power is held by a single self appointed ruler, usually a dictator.
Oh, you can always google “autocracy, wiki” too ya know?
… …”

argh… I’m still so pissed…
why do such people exist?

~Orangeline